Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ...
Its about learning to dance in the rain!!!
There are many things in life that will catch your eye
but only a few will catch your heart... Pursue those

This is my small effort to make you smile for a while...

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

A doleful tale of a hairy vagina

Myself being eldest of the girl gang at home was obviously  introduced to the world of fashion and styling much earlier than the others and so the fashion guru for the little ones at home. 

All the little ones who followed me were ruthlessly introduced to look down upon women who wear sleeveless without waxing their under arms, unkempt eyebrows were not to be forgiven at all and women who desired not to wax their private parts were totally mocked and ridiculed. Girls were told how men like women who maintained, groomed  and portrayed themselves well. Yes, I put these ideas in their mind. Which the fashion world today nurtured it further.

Let's pause here a bit, so the whole idea of maintaining appearances by going through the torturous pain of hot wax being poured on our body and ripping it off the skin to flash the shiny arms enhancing the physical beauty which men like was suggested by me to my sisters and I was introduced by some other woman and so on and so forth. And so all the struggle undergone to look beautiful to men was never actually told by any men, at least not to me. I just blindly chose to believe and spread what my fashion guru introduced me to! 

So it's us who are defining the rules here. It's me and many women like me who laugh at the ones who dared to wear the outfits disregarding their physique, its us who laugh at somebody else's dressing sense, its us who were actively body shaming all throughout and how stupidly I kept blaming men for wanting all these every time a wax strip was ripped off my skin. Thinking of which, not once my husband has mocked about somebody's dressing sense, neither have 70% of my male friends, which is still a good percentage of the opposite sex I know! And at times I dread at the thought that it could be women ourselves, who introduced these as a facet of beauty to Men.

The guilt of not telling my younger sisters that how a kind attitude, a thoughtful insight, a bold valor to be competitive and to be independent, is much more beautiful and sexier than a shiny waxed body, will always be carried with me.The idea I put in my sisters' mind would surely have further propagated to many more and I now fear how many times I am cursed by a doleful vagina as the hot wax rips it off.

With this I make my new year resolution, I say no to any form of body shaming. I will never look down upon women or men for their choice of beauty interests . I promise to introduce beauty in a kinder way to the younger ones no matter a boy or girl. And surely my son will be introduced to see beauty beyond external appearances and also to appreciate all that women do to make this world beautiful.


Unknown said...

Well said Girl...I was even more shocked to know when I heard from one of my Friend that she does it because God wanted us to be clean so get waxing was even thinking then why not shave the head if god wanted us to be clean in that way... what is the difference between hairs grown on on our body and thr hairs on our head🤔🤔 its all we who think this way that Men doesnt like this and that..I think even today my brother doesnt know why do we get waxing done..not only him as u said most of the guys wouldnt even know y we doing this... we Girls think we look beautiful with all these things and we blame it on Men and God..that thinking should be changed..I second you Girl👏👏👌

Divya Jairam said...

Wow!!! Absolutely!! We are so programmed to believe that straight hair, thin figure, arched eyebrows, are supposed to be beauty standards..! And how we kill ourselves to fit in to this image..!! it is in fact liberating to be able to wear a pair of shorts and walk without bothering about unshaven legs...! Loved it Ramya...😘😘

Raj said...

Such a beautiful and important post. I think there is so much hype over artificial and outwardly beauty that real and simple beauty is ignored. Thanks for shining such a bright light on our inner selves which are innately so beautiful and deserve to be celebrated.

Rahul Bhatia said...

A very well written post. Only if more people had clearer perspectives about inner beauty and its importance thiss world would be a better place!

Unknown said...

Well beautified the concept... Amazing one Rams

Anonymous said...

Woow wel said..loved the way you put it. Indeed true that women can be beautiful by just being simple and strong and not just being always beautiful like a showpiece in the shelf.

Ramaa Iyer said...

Thoughtfully written and you nailed it. If we don't love our body how can we expect the rest of the world to..

Unknown said...

We should be kind to one another. No matter what shape or size we are we all are beautiful as God made us. Having said that waxing one self on the underarms or private parts are just not only for women but men too. The reason for this is scientific, as sweat accumulates in these areas more so than other parts of hair in the body. Makes one unclean and creates our from the sweat. This in turn develops rashes and other skin diseases in time, therefore it is the purpose of hygiene is why men and women both should clean their hair from those areas.

Ramya said...

@Jevin R
Welcome to my blog and thank you for leaving your feedback means a lot.

And I would like to reinforce that the post is not opposing the idea of waxing the blog is about those who look down, body shame or mock ppl who don't follow the norms they have set themselves.

Also about what you mentioned that its scientific :) science always has flip side go through the below link.

Ramya said...

Rama iyer: thanks for dropping by, means a lot. Yes and why I see most oftenly a woman is insulted by a woman than being insulted by a man. Why don't we stand and support each other!
That's what intrigued me.

Ramya said...

@Sreepriya :) right a woman is beautiful everytime she helps or supports another woman.

@Sabi: Thanks a lot for dropping by and encouraging

@Rahul sir: Yes Perspective is all that matters! Hope spreading awareness will help in changing it.

@Raj: So here is the first thing I did in 2017 ;) wrote a blog :) followed your order. And thanks for your encouragement

@Divya Jairaman: Thanks a lot for visiting my blog spot. Yes :) the standards which we set for ourselves is in turn killing us :) and we betray our own :)

@Geeta: Well its very alarming that we associate physical aspects to omnipresent amorphous god !And yes its our choice and we dedicate to people with no clue :D thanks for your encouragement.

Unknown said...

Yes ramya there are a lot of myths and documents mentioned about anything and everything on the Internet. Your body shaming article is lovely and talking about no makeup and all these filters to hide oneself behind is all a facade made by man and also many women who belive that outer beauty is what wins but the world is turning around now and you will see many people are choosing not to wear makeup and not to shave their beard or cut their hair.
However about removing ones hair in under arm or genitals is just based on hygiene not to please anyone. You can trim it and not remove it completely. The hair is there to protect us from many diseases and to keep us warm. So it's OK to just trim it to a small size so it doesn't create bad odor and other diseases which can come if not taken care of regularly. There are many articles on it which I'm sure you guys will find online.

I like your blog about not caring what other people think about your outer beauty. It's the inner beauty that counts. Every one is beautiful in their own way. We should appreciate our differences and let live. Let's all stop judging.

Usha said...

I loved this bit

"I promise to introduce beauty in a kinder way to the younger ones no matter a boy or girl."

Well written Thai and I will make it an even stronger resolution to shame the bodyshamers :P And this comes from someone who was always made fun of for being gawky in my teens .

Ramya said...

Jevin thanks foe coming back again reinforcing not one line of my post is about saying no to waxing or make up to improve appearance, the post is all about not judging and not thinking that this is the only way to impress. Since we connect so much with these i used them to highlight the views.

Again thanks a lot for encouraging.

Unknown said...

Well put together on how to embrace Mother nature's gift and let it do its job rather than blindly following this tradition of cosmetic act.

Ramya said...

Hello Shilpa,

Thanks tons for being here :) and yes rightly said "Blindly" is what hurts the more. knowing and acting wise is lost in this crazy world.