Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ...
Its about learning to dance in the rain!!!
There are many things in life that will catch your eye
but only a few will catch your heart... Pursue those

This is my small effort to make you smile for a while...






Friday, May 17, 2013

Beware of labor pain even before conceiving ….


(Disclaimer: ***Pun intended *** should I be telling this? :P all my posts are anyways pun intended :P !!!)

I know you must be thinking that Ramya has gone complete nuts! But friends what if I say end of the post you will completely agree with me as at some point or the other every one of you (if you are an Indian, married and Male or Female) then trust me would have undergone this labor pain!!! Surprised?

Here u go, this post is all about how a married couple is easily attacked in front of everyone by questions like “So when is the good news coming?” “So when are you promoting us?” “I got a dream of u telling me about good news, so anything up that you want to share it with us?”
Surprisingly all these different words and different questions only mean “When are you producing offspring?”  or to be more bad “You are anyways gaming legally now, when do you plan to produce some output of the game”  

Now I see every one of you in agreement with me J? … Last few days such questions are raining on me and so it is more interesting to share with you all and get your insight on it … (actually the real intent is when you comment on this, I get a sadistic satisfaction that there are many like me who have suffered or suffering due to such questions)

Well, you will surely find my frustration or rant justified when you know the questions that are showered on me over last few years, and surprisingly these questions also varies with time.
  1.             First year into marriage and on first anniversary: “So anything new ?”, “so when is little one coming”, “you have put on so anything good”( :P well this questions is double stab!) , First anniversary you get less congratulations but be sure to get more comment and questions on when is the little one coming!!!!
  2.             Second year into marriage: Doubt is building up furiously … “So u guys seem like planning and postponing baby”, “I think Its already 2 years you are married nooooo,” no question doesn’t end here It continues and ends with random aunt hissing in my ear as “Did u visit doctor?” at this point I feel like peeling my ear out and giving it to her !!!    
  3.       Third year and from then on: You will start hating to attend any social gathering cause everybody there makes u feel like one sloth bear lagging behind in race whereas every other aunt and uncle has news to tell about their son or daughter who has conceived and delivered within a year (worth a noble price :P) and almost everybody will have lot more random questions, some have gone to the extent like “are you both not interested?”, “I think you should pray to this Swamiji, My daughter conceived in just a month!!!” (I wonder what swamiji does :P), Final one to conclude my rant is about the solution offered by some great aunt   “You should consult a Sex Therapist!”

PERIOD!!!! Just cant say anything more, doesn't this hurt more than Labor pain :P???

But then this is just my silent rant, even after all these Questions, Solutions and suggestions my reply would be a smile and a nod!!!  

25 comments:

Rahul Bhatia said...

Typical scenario everywhere and one has to patiently learn to handle these inquisitive folks:)

KK said...

Some of us are not married yet, and your saying things like this makes it scary for us :-)

No matter what anyone says, you as a couple are the best judge of if and when to have kids. Don't let people, no matter how close alter your decision.

Ramya said...

Rahul Sir: Rightly said :D thanks

@KK: iyyooo no no no my intention was not to scare you :D it was only to intend pun :) and is mockery of social pressure! :D

BTW what you have told is very right :D its upto individual to decide on their future cause end of the day its us to deal with it and no one who questioned will ever turn for our help :D

Ranjana Bhat said...

Dear Akka, I am sorry for your situation, but your poor sister before even getting married is getting such suggestions ;) All the best for more such stupid questions and idiotic people :)

Nuthan said...

hey hi Ramya.. how are you.. long time no see.. so hegidira??
so mathe en samachara? madhuve admele touch alle illa neevu.. so enu good news ilwa.. ?? ;)
bega good news kodi.. :)

Ramya said...

@Ranjuana bhat: Puttani hahaha I know :P why dont u answer then by asking if u can start trying for it right now :P then definitely they will not dare u to question this!!!
But then this solution is only till ur marriage :D

Ramya said...

@Nuthan: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII sigri kaige nodkotini nimna :D.....

hahhaa :) yennaapa idu urriyobenkige tuppa suriyodu andre idena :D

Banni india ge nimgu e pain baruthe aaga gothaguthe :P

Nuthan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nuthan said...

@Ramya - it's all fair and square on a Friday!! haha : )

btw.. namagu ee pain bandaagidhe
; ) though we are here..we are in the same boat as you..same awkward situations. Usually for senior citizens I usually tend to answer them in their own spiritual wavelength.. "ella devru ichhe alwa antha.." ..ashte amele silence!! : )

Ganesh Puttu said...

Totally sympathize with you..i am not even married and already some "wise" people advise me that i should not postpone having children, because the sooner i have them the sooner i can settle them in life before i retire from job it seems...what to do with these people? we can only ignore them..or thats what i do...

Badarinath Palavalli said...

Ok what about 15th year Anniversary? Ramya?

http://badari-poems.blogspot.in

Found In Folsom said...

Lol...universal problem for couples without kids...so , when are you telling the good news Ms. Ramya...heheh...just kidding...change the topic when they ask uou that qn...:-)

Nivedita Chirantan said...

ha ha ha... I can understand your situation... I have actually gone through labour pain had a wonderful kid, now am getting universal gyan that I should have another kid because my son needs a companion. go figure.. :)

Richa Singh said...

firstly I laughed my head off and then I read the whole post out to my husband because we are also sailing in the same boat :P i am stil laughing at " I wonder what swamiji does :P " haha lovely read hilarious :D

I have always loved your writing style :)

Prashanth said...

I loved this line...."I wonder what the Swamiji does..." hahaha...:) Hey swalpa late aithu comment madakke, adjust madkoli...work nalli full busy..not able to read or write any new blogs.

Now coming to this blog, I wonder why are people so hell bent on producing children, what is so urgent for the couple...?? And coming to Parents now, I dead against when parents say, "Now that our job of getting married our son/daughter is done, I have only one wish before I die, just to hold my Grand Son/Daughter once and leave this world" My reaction is like, what the heck...?? On a lighter note, just see how much is India's population, can we think of controlling it please....Conceiving should be left to that couple's decision and no one should question it. Thta's it...:) Ramya, nan helodu onde...there is no way these people gonna stop asking these questions, so just take it as it comes and have a good laugh over it...:)

Ramya said...

@Nuthan: nodidra Nodidra nimmanu bittila ;) henge!!! but yeah super escape route you have. Thanks buddy I will use the same from now on :)

Ramya said...

@DOC Ganesh: Hahahahah :) now thats such a super duper advice you have got :D ;) just tell them that you are not at all delaying and already trying as per their advice ;) never again they will advice you like that again!!!

My sis just did her part of the rant on this post :D so Ranju and u are sailing in the same boat :D

Welcome I will be waiting on the other side of the shore :D

Ramya said...

@Badari: Iyyyooo bidi 4th ge sakagide 15th varegu heege idre mostly Gadi paaru madtareno nanna!!!! :(

Ramya said...

@FIF: NOOOO no matter how much we try to change the topic it some how links to baby topic :D so have tried most of the gimmic and finally resorted to nodding and smiling :D
And for good news ;)Shannnnnntiiii wait madi!

@Niveditha: yeah yeah I wanted to mention this on my post Nivi, even after u have one kid the day they hold ur new born they will start torturing for second one!!! so hail hail aunts and uncles cant do anything more!!!

Ramya said...

@Richa Singha: hello travel mate wow I dint know that you are also on my boat lovely ;) welcome friend lets
sail through this together hehehe!!

heheheh so all the best, oh btw latest news is Swamiji has doubled his power and love to devotee now people are getting twins it seems :P

ESCAPEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ramya said...

@Prashanth: thanks thanks for coming back to comment on this post :D lol
hahahha :D so ninge eega job sikaythu :D next inta advice ge neenu ready agbidu Prashant :D
yeah u are right no matter what there is not limit to people's curiosity all we can do is smile and nod :D

Jenny said...

hehe, I understand Ramya.. People get so paranoid.. and start asking such personal questions? I was discussing this with my friend.. so its as if they are asking and determining how couples are doing it!!!! Total breach of privacy there.. Next time just tell them to ask the ques in the most detailed form ever.. they wld shy away I am telling you!

Ramya said...

@Jenny: heyyyy welcome back, had missed you :D

Hahahah true thats a nice trick u have mentioned there :D will try and let you know :)
This is really a universal problem :D there just cant be privacy in marriage after a year I guess :D

Nilanjana Bose said...

Very apt pun Ramya and a real problem all newly marrieds face! :) My own solution (many years ago now :)was two pronged -
for my side of family: smile my best smile and say 'I'll tell you the first thing when there is any news'.
for my in-laws side: call the hubs loudly and say 'your aunt/uncle/such n such wants to know...what should I say?' or variation thereof. Most people didn't ask me second time :D

When and whether to have children is a very personal decision, no-one should be pressured into feeling bad about their choices by relatives/society

Your post made me smile,thanks!

Binu Thomas said...

Typical Indian scenario Ramya. We all have gone through this.. It's like there's a target in place (corporate lingo) and we are not achieving it. People move from excitement (year 1) to encoragement (year 2) to doubt (year 3) to not interested (year 4 onwards) :P