How would you like to spend it?

Live life to the fullest because it happens only once, but for few it happens more than once. And I am one of those very few who has been given a golden second chance to live again. In a very unfortunate incident which happened 11years ago, I had almost breathed my last but then I fought back to live because I was not ready.

Yes, I was not really ready, I was in my final year of graduation when that incident had happened and at that point in my life, all I was a darling daughter to my parents and a fun loving being with my friends. Life was just happening without me putting much effort into it. Not that something great happened post this incident its just that something very essential happened, LIFE happened.

The Life that happened in these 11 years has been magical and it carved the real me! Post that incident, I fell in love and I fell out of it many times, but I learnt to value the love I got. I am termed ugly by few and beautiful by few, well it taught me how deceptive looks could be and makes me appreciate the beauty in everything and everyone around me. I realized that happiness is not same for everyone, someone else is happy with less than what I have, an ingredient of compassion was added then. I am most certain now there are few sets of people, who always see my nicer side no matter the emotional turmoil that I put them through, this taught me to appreciate the emotional struggle people go through and respect that. I have failed and won, but I learnt how to cope with how the world treats in both the situation.

Most importantly, I saw a Life go away amidst all of us and I saw a life come into our life, the conflict that my mind went through in these two extremities of nature makes me appreciate, live and love every single moment of this beautiful life. I would have gone just as a darling person to my family, but today that unfortunate incident few years back on which I rebuilt my life has added a lot of gems in my treasury. And yes, just like everyone else my life has also failed to be perfect, but it never has failed to be beautiful. So pause a moment appreciate it, fall in love with yourself and all the abnormalities of your life, trust me you will fondly treasure it someday.

Life is like a coin, so its up to you to decide how you would like to spend it.

Sailing on the same waters in different boats...

Life brings tears, smiles and memories. The tears dry, the smiles fade, but the memories last forever.

The birds are chirping and the flowers in the park are dancing to this euphonious tune of nature. My heart leaped in the remembrance of the times we danced and hugged, I turned towards him, hoping those arms to wipe the boundless tears which shed relentlessly, but only to see him stare at the hopeless future that's ahead of us. I could not stop the gushing memories and he on the other hand was busy blabbering the same three words which was all the vocabulary he was left with. Alas, how for him the memories are lost forever.

This evening for sure makes to the list of the most romantic evenings we have spent together. Once upon a time such an evening had candles which lit up our love and the most melodious poem which he had whispered in my ears. Screams my mind striving to accept that there is no more "us" in his world and beseeches my heart for him to utter a word but there he was blabbering the same three words.

I sat there staring at the infinity wondering at the way fate had played a game of chess with us end of which he was left with life, but lost all his pawns of memories, and I was left with memories but with no life in it. My heart is now like an ocean which has swelled by the never ending inflow of memories. We both are on different boats, but sailing on the same water of memories, I am sinking into it and he is drifting away to the unknown shores, sending waves of excruciating pain.

He had lost the most precious thing in the world his memories which he had made with the people he loved, he sat there not even realizing his loss and I sat there with him, holding onto his memories.
We both were broken picture glued on the wrong ends. Solicits my mind as to who is cursed here is it him or me?


-This blog is my views on the plight of people suffering from Alzheimer and the emotional turmoil that people around them go through
This post was inspired from the blog post made by a wonderful blogger Kappu

A battle with fate...

"Its a boy...", An exclamation which echoed in that operation theater for a moment sounded to me like holding up a sword and announcing the victory.

Yes, this is a little note of our struggle or I would rather call it a battle with fate fought over the years to win fertility. If I count back the day I started to think of raising a family it goes back to 4 years. A hope of raising a new life soon came to a disastrous halt when we learnt it was not that easy to give birth to a new life for us like others, fate had a totally different plan for us.

Although life was very good, infertility set us on a very difficult trail. Hopes, Dreams, Prayers, willingness to endure, had started to crumble at the feet of fate. I at one end was just not willing to give up but every long wait at the gynec, every failed report, every painful intervention, just made the barbarous blow of fate so hard that my sword fell down and was lost in the dust of pain every time. Time kept racing dragging me from year to year, but the struggle never ended. Queues got longer, reports got costlier, tests got painful but there were no signs of hope anywhere.

Almost when I thought I have to accept the defeat as stepped out of the hospital, I turned back and was flabbergasted by the sight I saw there. I saw myself everywhere, yes it was many like me who were fighting the same battle, I was so lost in my own war that I hardly noticed many who are with me fighting the same battle.

Again hope whispered in my ears "Sometimes you just have to wait for fate to make its move". And there I was powered by the love of family and friends, care and dedication of my doctor armed to fight again.

Yes fate is not in our hands, But effort and determination is. End of 4th year, I was there in the delivery room waiting to know the perks of my victory. As the little one was placed on my chest, I at once wanted to shout out Victory at the top of my voice but then realized after all who has won the battle with fate, as always fate must have dropped the sword saying "go live it your way you silly soul".

Tears trickled holding that little beautiful angelic face which sort of was conveying to me that I was never punished, I was just made to wait for this precious gift. Yet again life is beautiful and worth fighting for.