2d0a0y8s

Days of transition, Dejected Love

Sorrows of Negligence, Hard work to forget pain

Got recognized, Got awarded

Loved many who are not related, Got blessings from unknown souls

Made many smile, Smiled a lot all the way

Broken relationship, Weirdly smiled on the fate

Read many new things, Learnt many new things

Hit by fate, Loved by thy

Finally met someone special, Life became worth while

All the pains paid off

Smiles, love, romance, care and affection for rest of my lifeThanks for the year that passed, which gave me the perfect blend of all the emotions

Again…Hoping for the same

To smell the same rain

To hug the same love

To love everyone

To care everyone

To crave for success

To know more

And wishing you all the same…

25 Not out ... :)

It was yesterday night; I realized I will be 25 in just another 8 days…
Till 1 in the night I was just thinking I spent 25years now. I am 25 years old to everyone who know me from my birth and 25 years young for everyone getting to know me now.

I guess everyone will get this feeling on their birthday, why to generalize from my 2nd pu birthday at least, I get this feeling or question that how different or what difference I have done in these many years of my stay here?

Though I haven’t answered this question any year that passed by, I thought best medicine to put me sleep would be to answer my own question “What have I achieved in these many years?”
Oh my god this isn’t tat easy question, it was really the toughest question. I found it tougher than my ADA question paper in Engg sem exam.
Ok what ever I thought there was argument for it by my conscious lets call it Jeeva, it went on like this

Ramya: I am being good to my parents all these years
Jeeva: good, but that many do, and it’s just your responsibility and rule to be like that

Ramya: I studied well, now in to good job.
Jeeva: Great, But that’s the survival and wats different in it.

Ramya: I have so many friends who are very happy with me.
Jeeva: wow, haven’t you had fights? Haven’t many left you too?

I thought I should really give up and sleep! It was very much hurting to understand that I haven’t done anything special!

It was 12:30 by then my sister was studying for her exams, as she finished her studies she came near me for her regular Good night kiss, it was surprising for her to see me still awake. Not able to hide my worries I told her my doubts, she laughed beautifully and thus went our discussion

Ramya: What have I done all these days?
Ranju: Akka, wat have you not done, you have been so good to appa amma.

Ramya: But still…
Ranju: Akka, u have studied well got into good job wat else do you want.

Ramya: May be but so many friends left !!!
Ranju: Oh come on! Haven’t you had fights? But in those fights you realized how many were worth your friendship, the once left were just people who were not worth you.

Man !!! she just solved my puzzle. It’s just the way you see it, something which may seem very common may be astonishing to someone else.
Something you have done days back may stay in someone’s memory for life time. So then I realized that I am different. Also thought World is perfect Round; we end exactly where we started!!!

Thus stopped thinking, wished my sis good night and turned right to sleep tight with a smile on my face…Jeeva: Advanced happy Birthday Ramya!!! :)

The End… The Beginning

Wishing bye to my Orphanage kids I tied my scarf to wear the life saving helmet but felt its too sunny to wear it and started my Activa without helmet but dint forget to plug in my cells headphones to enjoy the nonstop chat of some RJ and some music on my journey back home to have hot lunch served by mom. I was already late! Kids dint let me leave early this day. I could imagine my dad’s angry face but anyways I knew all the reasons to console my dad. With all these thoughts I was speeding in my vehicle. I always enjoyed the Deep curve on the high way, remembering John Abraham in dhoom I took a deep curve speeding my bike. I really dint hear the honk of the speeding truck from the opposite side a bang!!! I was thrown away from my bike, I did feel that my head banged to stone that was laid in the corner of the road.

After this It was all mix up of things, I wanted to shout saying I am in deep pain please rescue me. Suddenly I felt a great pull I was pulled up all of a sudden no pain I was fine and perfectly alright healthy feeling very fresh. Oh my god I was such a fool I dreamt about my accident I started to laugh and turned around to be shocked, I saw myself lying down there with so many people surrounding me, they were taking me I couldn’t say tats me tats my body which is being shifted… Suddenly a pull which took me up up and up.

There I stood facing a big light, I heard a voice very clear and very pleasant voice I ever heard. It called out my name. So by its introduction I got to know it was Almighty I was speaking to, so thus went our discussion or actually a negotiation. I asked god wat was my mistake; I was so young for him to end my life this abruptly. I wept a lot in agony. Finally Almighty said “Jeeva my daughter, all I can do is I can send u back as a wondering Soul but with a boon that you can peep into once mind and understand what they are thinking. And anytime if you don’t like this you can come back to me”. Fine it was my option now to choose this or to remain there and wait for my next birth. I decided to opt this option given by god and to have some fun; I thought I will never want to come back because this will be so much fun. As soon as I chose this option, I was in front of my home.

Oh my god, the scene there was unimaginable. I found so many people in front of my home. The photo that was clicked for my groom search was now garlanded and kept in front of my remains. Except that snap no one was smiling in that crowd. And I saw people whom I had not met from years when I was alive were here with sad face here in front of my home. At once I felt, I was so popular that so many people to see me for last time.

Just then I realized I now have to power to peep in their minds, Fine I first thought of peeping in everyone’s mind but then shortlisted to those whom I was skeptical about.

There I saw My college gang all standing together, I saw my friend Preeta, who was staring at my photo with very sad expression on her face. I decide to peep in her mind,
Preeta: “ wat a lovely smile jeeva has, exactly the same smile she had in college and she stole my hero, Now that this lady is also not there and he is also not there for me to try”
Oops this was the reason for my friend Preeta’s Sad Expression. Oh my god I was such a fool, I liked Preeta so much, helped her so much and she thinks like this??? With this one example I stopped myself from examining any of my college friends.

There stood my office gang, My manager Shekar, had very void expression on his face, same he has in office too. I was very much exited to know wat he was thinking. Immediately peeped! Shekar: “Finally dumbhead had understood the complex testcase and promised me of completing it!!! But now, Again I have to explain it to someone” Gosh is this the same guy who had told “Jeeva u are excellent u got the idea of this testcase with in no time” I was such a stupid dreaming of Spot award, this Manager is pakka Practical.

I by then had started feeling very sad by understanding the other face of people, whom I thought were so good. By then there stood a guy who was in my office and always was a very good to me, But wasn’t friend of mine, I had not expected him here. I just was so surprised to see him here and that too I saw tears in his eyes. I thought I must check wats going on in his mind and then I peeped, Guy whom I dint bother to know the name: “Had I dared to smile to you the first time I saw you! Had I dared to say you were beautiful! Had I told that the ring u lost in office trip is still with me! And Had I dared to ask you out on this weekend you would be with me Jeeva, Forgive me Jeeva!!! Forgive me!!! I will always hate myself for being coward!

I felt so bad for missing such a wonderful person, I just wept and asked god to take me back to him. That’s it, I felt somebody held my hands and pulled me up…

Yes it was Amma as usual angry on me for sleeping late, I realized it was just my dream of my End but I must say It is really a wonderful beginning. That day in office I met the same guy smiled wide to him. And I could sense that he was very much confused to see me smiling to him.
But thank god we don’t have such powers of understanding others thoughts… We believe whatever we see and accept it as fact, in a way that really keeps us happy.

Hey... How to decide???

After some gap me again back to write something in my blog…
Actually a discussion with my close friend in office made me to write the MOM (minutes of meeting) here

This day my friend whom I call Prinsi announced tat she wants to decide upon a guy to take the relationship from friendship to Further levels, now she was in dilemma as on how to decide on whether the guy is a perfect match to her or not!

Being her best friend and with some in hand experience I started with the discussion which made us realize that how serious the discussion was.

Friends, we find countless blogs and articles on how to decide upon someone. But still when it comes practically to us, we just forget the reality and become emotional and get in to troubles at later stages. So I must tell you this is one of the most crucial decisions we take in our life and any stupidity, baseless emotions here will toss our life upside down.

In today’s society girls at home are more loved, cared and pampered. With so many hopes our parents bring us up, but once we make this decision or if parents make this decision for us from then on we are completely left to be independent with the Partner we select, and just our parents will support us. Loosing this control from parents and accepting someone to be everything is a major change in girl’s life.

So Friends here are something we finalized as basic things to keep in mind before considering someone to be life partner.

Make sure the person whom you consider is not too much money minded and also too easy spending types.
Make sure he doesn’t have any recent break up, cause guys tend to make haste decision in this period and later me regret on u.
Make sure he has atleast some goals in life, career aspirations and also must encourage and be very efficient in guiding you.
Most important thing is make sure he is close to his family members and openly speaks to his parents cause a person who plays hide and seek with parents cant be open to you also.
Make sure he is not overly beauty conscious. Cause beauty is not constant in us too.
Things like financial position of the guy and habits of drinking and smoking is left to individual to consider it.

I do understand for Guys also this will be very important decision in life, and I don’t say that all guys need to be monitored on these scales. This is just a note to girl who is about to make decision. And I am sure guys and girls who have seen and been in such situations have more to say about this…

One life and one decision, live it happily my friend …

7 days of Sickness …

Last week I was down by infection which lead to fever this dint get cured until 7 days … now for a creature like me lying in bed, doing nothing for 7 days and also listening to health lectures by amma and appa was the toughest task of my life…

As I wrote this experience of 7 days in my dairy yesterday night I also thought I have to share the same with you all …

Day 1: I got to know that I have got some infection so now I had to go to doc which I hate as always. The reason for me to hate my doc is he always scolds me; yes there is a genuine reason for him to scold me because I always neglect my health. So as soon as he sees me he starts scolding me even before asking why I have visited him!!!

So he gave me some temporary medicine and asked me to get some reports done. Me with usual over confidence thought that these reports are not necessary and took the medicine for one day.
Learning: Do not hate your doc, if you hate him change the doc…

Day 2: I was back to office with full fresh smile but still I felt that I hadn’t completely recovered, by afternoon the fever started increasing and I thought I need lot of rest so decided to go home early. At times I forget that I have done BE and not MBBS. So rushed home and slept for a while. By this time amma had started her lecture to do pranayama every morning which I am not doing! Appa started saying that these days you are roaming around a lot so no rest and hence all these sufferings. By then fever increased and I decided that next day morning I will get the reports done which doc had prescribed!
Learning: Listen to your parents occasionally, surprisingly they will be true at times…

Day 3: Fever had taken its control on me still I managed to go to Lab and get the reports done but for my bad luck they told that I will get the reports only after 2 days … so this meant that I had to suffer like this for 2 more days

Continuous fever and pain in stomach had decreased my confidence. On top of it Mom’s care and dad’s love was increasing :). But deep with in me I had regrets for not taking care. Between I kept troubling my best friend asking him to visit me as I felt lonely…
Learning: It’s the best to have a friend who tolerates your cribbing… but be sure to crib in limits.

Day 4: Another torturous day in these seven days. Couldn't get up from my bed, my energy level decreased to 20% and was so scared tat I will die!

Lying in my bed I thought I will die soon… Gosh I remembered all my college friends, incompletely tasks, wishes and dreams of my life. Isn’t it silly how much we love our life… but I realized I have so many incomplete task that I dearly want to do.

Amidst the cribbing with my friend continued and increased. Dependency on appa and amma had also increased.
Learning: Don’t leave anything half done, complete it, if not it haunts u a lot.

Day 5: I was so happy that I will get my reports and doc will treat me immediately. So till 5 in the evening I was waiting and got the reports. Finally I rushed to doc and gave him the reports.

As soon as he saw me started scolding for not getting the reports done immediately and after seeing the report he dint stop scolding I thought he will call up and scold me even after I leave the clinic. Even for my surprise I was with corers of harmful Bacteria with me all these 5 days. Then as usual I got my Medicines and that was Injections twice a day for next five days. Had I done all that doc had told at right time, It would be 2 small tablets to swallow now its Injection!!!!!!!!
Learning: Please don’t neglect wat Doc says though u hate him because small tablets transforms into huge painful injections!!!!

Day 6: Recovering back to normal, my energy level increased to 60%. Again appa amma started lecture about health and fitness and I started shouting at them that they need not say me the same things again and again. And my friend who was with me all these days had to tolerate my drama while I am taking my injection.
Learning: There is ego in each one of us, astonishingly that is not there in you only when u are in trouble.

Day 7: I am perfectly alright, no more stomach ache or fever but I must tell you Injections do pain a lot and it’s even paining now!!!
But now back to form talking, smiling being over enthusiastic and being Egoistic with appa, amma and my friend.

Learning:
1. Don’t neglect your health it’s very precious.
2. And if u are down with fever remember its only fever and there are so many others suffering from so many health problems which they can never get cured of.
3. Engage your self when u are not feeling well by which u will forget the pain – easy to say tough to execute (Gyan given from my best friend), but this works.
4. Love your self, take care.

That’s all… I am back to write and trouble you all more :).

I miss u all guys...

The only way I found to convey my cousins that I miss them, was to write a blog for them who really matter to me a lot…

It was the days when playing in those small kitchens and ride on our toy bikes was exciting to me and my group of cousins to name them my far relative Murthy whom we fondly call as ‘Naannu’, My cousin sisters Navya and Kavya and my sister Ranju. We all have the bond so well that we always felt we are best of friends rather than giving any name to the relationship tat we had.

I only remember from my age of 5 I am with Murthy who was 8yr then, Navya who was 3yr and Ranju was just born, It was all fun those days once in a month we used to meet each other play whole day and then get back to school and occasional meet in common cousins functions. Years passed but nothing changed, just the type of spending time when we are together changed from spiderman, superman stories to college crush stories.

This essence of playing, talking, getting caught, escaping together established a strong friendship in us. Unknowingly we shared a great bonding which was more than the defined relationship.

Time keeps changing today each one of us are in different directions. Murthy left to foreign country for better job though I am very happy for him I miss him all the time when I don’t find a shoulder to lean on and cry, when I don’t find him to snatch his purse and announce party to cousins without his consent, when I don’t find him to get me aptitude book to face an interview, when I don’t find to call him up in the evening when I am in cab and to tell him all silly stories and listen to his office stories, When I actually miss him I realize tat I dint really know the value and meaning of him being with me all these years. Naannu u have been just great.

Navya into her technical course busy studying though can catch up sometime its always fun to be with her, her charming nature and unending enthusiasm to talk about only those things which she doesn’t really know anything about and make us laugh! You first see a young dynamic lady shouting at peak of her voice and laughing talking always but ask me I have seen are crying only for other’s grief, I have seen her pray for someone else. Buddy you are great remain this good always.

Her sister Kavya being youngest of all who is just 12yr old is the most loved in our family, she is with her parents in Dubai, I miss her a lot, more than my youngest sister she is like my kid.

Ranju, of course my sister and indivisible part of me, this madam scares me with her future plans of going to foreign country for her better future but then yeah career is very much important.

Not sure how time will drift us apart but at least I am thankful to life for giving me most memorable moments with them…
I miss you all…
While reading this u would also remember your close cousins take sometime out mail or call them to say you miss them and care for them…

Teach IndiA

As my amma was shouting my name form ground floor to wake me up I was still asleep and could partially hear her cribbing. My Amma’s concern was that when
I was in Highschool this day I would get up early wish every one tell every one atleast one Freedom fighters story and get ready to school all the way by practicing the Patriotic song that we have to sing in the school this day. Where as now I was just lying in my bed thinking that 3 more days of rest and lazing around. Yes it was Independence day on Friday.

When she continued her memories even I went back to my school days, highschool days and also College days where in I had so much enthusiasm on such occasion and pride in us of being Indian. I am still wondering where I lost it. Where did I leave my Spirit of telling everyone the stories of freedom fighters which I studied in school or heard from my grand father? Where did I leave that white dress, that tri colored flag those scripts of drama that told the saga of freedom struggle? May be all this would fade away with time but where did I leave the Spirit to change the world why did I let fade that enthusiasm in me?

With all these I woke up from bed and after refreshing went to hall to pick up the newspaper expecting the national flag and tri color filled in paper with stories which are heard only today. But for my surprise, I was just astonished to see the creativity of the Times of India Guys who had done there front page just so amazing which had these words as its caption “The Class of 2008”. The wordings they had in that clean plain white background just struck my very chord this morning. As I finished reading that page I could not stop myself from staring at the smiling kid’s picture that was in the top right and left corner of the page. And wording in the page which said “Good morning Teacher” was like slapping me hard for not doing what I could easily do.

We do spend our times in hotels, pubs and cinema halls yes all these are necessary to keep one entertained in this busy schedule, but have we thought that this time can be spent even better which can make us feel proud and happy which is not for just the time spent there but for life time? No, most of us wouldn’t have thought about it.

Being in City like Bengaluru, running around each day to gain status and best living we just overlook those things which can give us the real satisfaction. To tell you all, there in remote village my maternal Uncle who is my best friend too, Raghu mava with his group of enthusiastic youngster is framing so many programs to motivate education, better business and to introduce his small village to world, we being in such a world where in we are 1000 times technically ahead of them, we are still not thinking of anything other than ourselves.

Friends if you ask me what you have done may be even I stand in that only 0.005% contribution zone. But I want to tell you all, that I think we all have power to change the way life is at least in our own comfort zone or by joining hands in one of such movements like “Teach IndiA”. Let us at least think of those kids who need our support and togetherness. Let us tell them all that guys you are not alone we all are there with you. We all are one.
For those interested: www.teach.timesofindia.com

School Days...

My feelings and thoughts for the day start when I board the cab everyday, so today there was such a cute incident that happened in my journey which pulled me 15 yrs back.

We were stuck in traffic jam and happened to stay in the same road for more than half an hour. In that time I could here some kids singing National Anthem though I couldn’t get up and respect it I respected from with in. With this anthem I remembered my School days which was so good and probably only innocent time tat we have spent.

I still remember my school days, I was in 4th Std where in my every day routine started with keeping my books into tat big bag according to tat days timetable after getting ready in that neatly pressed school uniform and polished shoes. By that time I would hear trin trin bell ringing which was my friend Anthony Raja who stayed 2 streets away from my home. We both were from same class and my dad had asked him to accompany me till school as that was the first year I had got my cycle. Hence Anthony was my best friend. We always had cycle competition and it was for sure me who used to loose the competition and I still hate the proud look Anthony had when he won the race with me…

After reaching I used to join girls group and Anthony would go with boys, where in we girls played Skipping etc and Boys where into Lagori and cricket till the School bell rang.
As soon as the ring goes off we were in designated lines of ours according to the classes we belonged to. School leader who would be from senior class would recite the Daily morning Prayers and then check our nails and let us in to the class.

I must tell you all, the seating arrangements we had in our school, I don’t know if that is the same followed in many middle schools. In a bench of 4 it was alternate boy and girl seated. The reason for this was if two girls or two boys sit together they would talk more
So this was the arrangement.

But alas nothing could stop me so in my bench it was me, Anthony, Sunita and Manohar and the Bench leader was Manohar he was the one who collected our home works and submitted to teacher. We four had jelled up so well tat we faught, played in that bench itself and were always thrown out of the class.

The most famous thing in schools was fights which would have its own notation. Many Karnataka guys who are reading this would understand the meaning of “2 bidodu” which was to denote that hence forth we both are not talking to each other and “Se bidodu” which means we are patching up.
And the fights in that bench was really for some typical silly reasons like once Manohar took my Scented eraser which I had kept wrapped from the day I bought and he removed the wrapper. Like this all “2” was declared between me and Manohar then obviously Manohar was supported by Anthony and I was supported by Sunitha so it was a huge war amongst us in that bench which used to only end when one of us had done the homework and other wanted to copy it the “Se” was declared.

I must say those innocent days are the most precious in our life. Now tat we moved to different place I don’t even know where Sunitha, Manohar and Anthony are. Just to have a guess Manohar was strong in maths and must be engineer. Sunitha was from very traditional family may be she is married. And my best buddy Anthony my competitor was from family with strong financial background and he never passed in unit test so he must be into family business.

Today morning in the cab I had fought with my colleague who is my best buddy too. So to be specific its “2” declared between us. I just looked back to see if he would smile back and declare “Se” but no he was still angry, with this and the National anthem took me back to School days…

As its friendship week I dedicate this to those friends of mine who are just in my memories and not with me anymore. Thanks a lot guys u have made my life worth living.

Different world…

Hey all, I am back to narrate you a little incident that happened today morning, as usually I was standing to board my cab, I was 10 mins early to stop. Reshu is one lady of 50yrs old who waits in the same stop. There is a very famous distillery for which she works. Amongst 10000 others her work is to wash the bottles and drain it.

In that 10 min wait everyday; this lady has become a good friend of mine. Though it’s a routine discussion we have, like did Subbu go before I come?, did we have breakfast and her advice to cross the road slowly we don’t speak anything new.

Today morning I was still in the thoughts of my work which is being too much from past few days, I was also nervous about my manager who always calls meeting only to appreciate our work but not to say anything about salary hike or better position. I just turned to Reshu who was smiling to me and just thought how would she feel about her job and salary I could just not control my excitement about this and I started to discuss about that with Reshu.

I asked reshu “ Ri Reshu, how is your work and wats your salary?”
Suddenly Reshu started laughing and said “Iyyo Ramyamma, wat to say about that, my work starts at 9 and we will have to keep standing till 1:30 in the afternoon for collecting bottles and keeping it aside after which is the Lunch break of half an hour and again stand till 5:30 in the evening till the Bell goes off, consider between this if supervisor notices us sitting for a while or talking for a long time then for sure we will get blasted or sometimes also beaten up. And about salary its 2500/- per month and even that we have not received it from past 2 months whoever went to question about this has not come to factory from the next day!”

Before she could complete her horror stories her factory bus came which was the most pathetic bus I ever saw. It was over crowded, no proper window panes and no proper seats. Just then Reshu boarded the cab and smiled at me asked me to cross the road carefully and left for the day, assuring me tat she will be continuing her story tomorrow when we meet.

But it was very much enough for me to understand that how different the world is. Even today people work in such conditions, Not that I don’t understand economic structure but the fact is humans are not treated with the respect they have to be treated with. Like this there may be so many people suffering because of their Superiors, Suffering with their spouse, suffering because of their children. Never have we all given any thought about this…

But with all these I saw Reshu was happy working and she came to board cab in any condition every morning. I have heard poverty teaches discipline and dedication, Hence it is proved now. Sitting in my sophisticated cubicle, sipping hot coffee and while writing this I still remember Reshu’s innocent smile which had lots of pain in it.

What I hate....

I never knew I will have to think so much to list down what I hate until one day my buddy Chaos tagged me with this topic. Fine my friend here the list goes but before that a very small introduction about myself.

I have been always blamed for me not being choosy which means I like all the things around me. I don’t know why but I rarely hate something, this is how I am. So it’s very tough for me to come up with this topic. Anyways my list goes like this and please all of this has an exception.

1. First and foremost thing, I hate when people act very much matured for their age and always keep saying others to behave according to their age. Friends, I understand we have to behave according to situation but I would love to tell u that age is just a number but for being active, enthusiastic and for carrying that innocent feeling which we had in our childhood there is no age limit. Being like this u will keep ur self and the soul inside u young. Its nature that we turn old but soul should always be kept young.
2. Smile the best medicine. I hate people who intentionally carry serious face and even neglect to smile back.
3. Lying and cheating in relationships, be it any relationship truth is the basis so lying and cheating in relationship I hate to the core. According to me those who cheat someone in love (Parents, friends and life partner) are not to be considered as human beings.
4. I hate People without Focus, if someone says I am living just for the sake of living I guess he could have been non living thing because even animals have intention of their living.

That’s all I guess… I love people for so many new things I learn from them so each one in my life is very much new to me. But the above mentioned are the few things which will hurt me deeply.

Rain...

Rain is the most written topic but every time I read an article about rain I feel as though I am drenched in a soft shower. Yes, today morning Bangalore climate would have baffled many people here. The climate was just perfect for a hot coffee, soothing music, high raised Balcony and a heart full of memories.

There was wetness every where I was seated in the first seat of my cab to office I purposefully sat there to enjoy the rhythmic dance of Nature. As our cab was speeding between the neatly laid trees along both the side of the road it was awesome to see the wet trees, green leaves which allowed drizzle to softly touch them and the sun playing hide and seek with the clouds to show his existence and this game brought a nice warmth amidst the cool breeze.

I could see people in park enjoying the perfect climate, there were kids rushing to school clad in their rain coats, girls walking hiding in their umbrella, Guys posing as heroes in their bikes and cars all was like a movie scene… I felt very jealous of them cause they were so lucky to actually enjoy this climate I controlled thinking at least I can enjoy watching these things.

Sitting in that corner seat in the journey of 1hr by virtue of this climate I could go back to my childhood, teenage and remember all that happened in the similar climate. Just then I saw a small coffee shop where years back when we college friends finished tuitions early morning and stood there drinking hot coffee and chatting shouting teasing each other.

I must say sometimes nature takes us back just as recap and gets the fresh feeling. Thanks to Mother Nature who made my day begin so beautifully with lots of memories and smiles. I guess many would have felt the same…

Smile please...

Smiling is one of the best feature that god has given to man alone. Don’t know what special he found in this creation of his that he gave this boon to only him. I always wonder there are so many things that are communicated in a smile. Let me mention few which are prominently seen around, they are Smiles for feelings like Happy, care, love, hatred, ego, weirdness, teasing, and also sometimes sadness. All this is communicated via a smile.

Here is a small observation that I have done in the area of ‘Smiles’. Now If you are smiling thinking that this girl has no better work, then let me tell you that is smile of weirdness but you can continue that cause I like that smile on your face.

Though smile has no age, let me begin the chemistry of smile from my college days. There was days when I had crush on a guy. I always waited for his smile, this is smile in love. Seeing this stupidity of mine my friends always smiled at me this is smiling to tease me. In the mean time I used to get back broad unwanted smile from the girl who was that guys’s official announced Girl friend. And this smile was Egoistic … Yeah I used to smile back to her and this one would be smile of rejection. But in college days there was 1000 reasons for smiles. So must say most infectious and very very epidemic is this smile in classrooms. This usually spreads from last benches and by the time it reaches first benches it would have turned to serious condition of smile that is laughter. This was the college days spent smilingly.

Then came the professional days probably after coming to this period, I realized there is one more important dangerous kind of smile that is “Professional smile”. Meaning of this is prominently dependent on, what is the time you get this smile and from whom you receive it. Lets continue this case study with example of the most dangerous species in our work life.

The Professional smiles of Manager, If this smile is received in morning when you come into office and he is in already it means “ Is this the time you come in and smile shamelessly to me???” if its mid day and you are in cafeteria it means “Don’t you have any better work other than doing research in Cafeteria?” in case you stay late in the evening and he meets you in office and smiles at you, don’t be very happy his smiles now means “ Oh you are still here chatting, doing nonsense and wasting company resources?” and sometimes if he crosses your cubicle with this smile this is means “ I am inspecting what you are doing” There are all chances of you being called to meeting after this smile!
And the worst part is technical trainings and meetings; here smile is used for communicating. Here smiles communicate things like “Nothing is entering my thick walled brain”, “I know all of these, why are they wasting time saying the same things again?”, “I am feeling sleepy”, “I am caught sleeping” and “Getting bored”.

To generalize more on smiles, at least in my office I don’t see any smiles on Monday even if I see, I see sad smiles which means 5 more days to bare pressure! But Friday by evening 5 o clock I must say I have seen so many different kinds of smile for which I am still on my research to find the explanations …

So these are my findings but I must tell you, I find immense pleasure in smiling to people and also receiving one back. What ever is the mood, condition, feeling all you need to do is smile to someone or smile to yourself, I tell you each moment becomes precious and memorable.

Friends, if you have smiled even once while reading this article my effort of writing this in notepad in domain training hiding from trainer and acting as though taking down notes has become worth while …

Ok then keep smiling, yes I love it when you do it thankssssssssssss.

(Dedicated to everyone who is smiling now...)

Me and the God Almighty...

I am agnostic, may be I modified the definition of being agnostic. When I want something I believe in god and pray him but when I get or have everything I want, I don’t believe his existence or don’t pray him. So this is my nature towards god.

Let me tell you a small incident that happened today morning. I dressed up to office in my pink suite though not very beautiful as always I was cheerful, the naughty smile on my face makes me look prettier at times this is the comment I get usually. I came down to kitchen to wish mom bye, she was smiling to see me dressed up and told that I am looking good today.

Don’t know why when mom says this I get irritated, may be because I remember my uncle teasing me by saying a kannada saying ‘Hettavarige heganavu muddu’ which means for parents even the rodent looks good! So I neglected her words wished her bye and left for my stop to board my cab.

When I was standing there, I saw a very beautiful girl passing by each and everyone was staring at her. I must say she was actually very beautiful, with shiny silky hair was let free and the white salwar was perfectly matching her beautiful fair complexion I must say she was looking like angel walking down in that dirty road.

Suddenly I started Cursing god for not giving me this beauty, I was so sad and asked god why dint he make me this beautiful, why don’t people turn around to look at me when I am walking. I cursed god for cheating me. By this time of me cursing god this girl had passed by and there was a School bus which was on its way and stopped in my stop.

The bus was full with kids shouting and laughing, I was very happy to see that and I observed closely this was the school bus for mentally challenged kids. In that two min I could observe kids laughing for no reason making weird sounds touching each other. My heart sank, just 2 min back I thought this bus was full with smiles and happiness but now I got to know these smiles and laughter had no meaning but they just existed there.

Now suddenly I remembered god! Why don’t I ask him anything now? Do I ever think that he has given me many things that some of them really want to have? I was ashamed of myself for being so self-centered…I guess this is the way god speaks to us and teaches us about life. Those who pick this up would have learnt a beautiful lesson.

Lost in these thoughts I was staring at that bus, suddenly I saw a little hand of a child from that bus window wishing me bye…

My Amma and Dodamma TV Stars

It was Friday, I went home after my work as usual my home was full with voices of Dad, Mom, sis and Doddamma.
Oh I haven’t introduced u all to another family member. So this is an introduction about my Doddamma. Doddammma is elder sister of my Mom and an indivisible part of our family she lives in our neighboring house and she is the care taker for me and my sister. Actually she has taken care of us as our mother in all the times we needed. Very innocent and always smiling nature she has. She jells up easily with the young generation and hence we don’t feel generation gap between us if she is around. This is my sweet doddamma.

So this day as soon as I went home, I figured out there is something very interesting and very new topics discussed at home. I could clearly guess that amma and Dodamma have done something different, actually glow in their face and excitement in their voice clearly showed that it was them in the limelight. As I came to hall Mom was waiting me to ask her what was special, so I dint wanted to disappoint her feelings so showing excitement in my face I asked what was special for the day looking at amma and Dodamma. As soon as I asked both jumped on their feet to tell me, then somehow controlling their excitement amma told me that they had been to TV shoot. My god this was really surprising to me also. How come all of a sudden two housewives and TV show I couldn’t put the puzzle pieces in the right place!
Then continuing the TV saga, mom went ahead and told me that they had gone to TV Music show, as I knew my mom is pretty good singer I was baffled about how she got this opportunity. Now I was really amazed and asked her to tell me more but my mom refused to tell me anything more and she told me to hold on till tomorrow and see them on TV. Oh my god this kept me really impatient.

The next day at office I had a critical project release but who cares Mom was on air the same evening and Doddamma was also with her so I had to be at home by evening 7. By evening early cab I winded up my work and reached home. It was 6:45 my mom dint change the channel she kept the same channel playing from past one hour though her show was at 7. As soon as the show began every one of us were in front of TV and there began the show. I was just waiting for Mom to be on stage.

Host of the show introduced the competitors for the day in surprise I turned to mom and asked ‘where are you amma?’ She asked me to wait. Ok!!! I controlled my excitement. As soon as the shows camera swung to capture the audience, suddenly mom and doddamma jumped to their feet shouting see me in the first row, me in second row!!!

So there it was, they had been to that show as audience but the excitement they had is unimaginable. But I must say that day my mom received so many calls from her friends and our relatives that for they being on TV. From that day my dodamma and Amma are TV stars. But the happiness they had taught me that enthusiasm for doing new things and to face new things keeping aside your regular worries gives us immense happiness and keeps us young.

TV Remote… The Big war…

TV Remote is supposed to be designed for comfort, but I still wonder is it for comfort or to create wars in our homes!!! May be this is the smallest device which creates war easily amongst the family members and most famous issue to fight for amongst siblings.

A typical week day, my entry to home happens only after 7:30 PM after a day full work at office. As soon as I open the gate, there are three possibilities of TV sounds that I listen to. If it’s a female sobbing or some male and female conversation of taking revenge on somebody there I guess it must be my sweet mom feeling very sad for somebody’s grief which is not even true. There is all possibility of somebody shouting because of bad road condition in Bangalore, Some interview of well learned Professor or Artist, A female reading the topics well organized in the same tone which is followed from years, Or some male shouting upon a very sad Crime report with weeping and harrowing sounds and asking for justice and lot of Political issues discussion, If this is the case it is our dearest Big Boss and my best friend from past 25yrs, my appa who is decently sitting in the corner sofa and is very much into TV. The last types of sounds that stylishly come from my home are either one of the following. Some hindi movie songs, MTV Roadies shouting in vulgar language which is usually muted with censor board patented tone, Or some super VJs giving breaking news of famous stars break up and make tips. Then it’s the most popular and respected member of my family my sister who is doing her manicure and watching the TV.

So Ideally I will guess with the TV sound that who is dominating the Remote for the day. With this guessing I will also have to calculate the complexity of me getting the remote.
If its my mom obviously it is the easiest catch, as soon as I order a double strong coffee mom is promptly off to kitchen to server her dearest daughter and by the time she comes back there would be no more Sobbing females and revenge discussion it will be only Interior design decorations going on.

Consider the case of My dearest Dr. MB sir(wondering who is this??? This is my Professor dad) sitting in his regular corner sofa then it is intermediate complex condition.
All I have to do is start discussing some office stuff or I should completely divert his concentration saying there was a handsome guy in office today, this one thing suddenly alarms my dad and gets into serious discussion of my marriage and he is off to discuss this with mom and then Remote is mine.

Next is the most complex situation when my little doll is in front of the TV box. There is no chance of making reason or consoling her to change the channels. The only possibility is me sitting with her and watching the so called Bollywood Breaking news and MTV Roadies “Pravachana” (holy words!!! For those who don’t understand this word). Meanwhile I keep praying god to make some of her college friends to call her up. But sometimes check my ill fate these college kids discuss on the TV show and this goes like telephonic conference calls discussing the shown on TV.

The most famous thing that happens is when all four of us sit together on weekends. All of us fight, make reasons, steal, snatch and try consoling for the great device.

Oh amidst I forgot to say there is one more member who is common in these entire situations that is our house maid Giriyamma who is always there in the evening with our family. Be it Sports, Film, Serial, interior decoration, News, and let it be in any language even without moving Giriyamma is there sitting down watching the TV. I always think she must be doing some research on TV…

One day it so happened that after a big fight our Remote refused to work and none of us were ready to go and change the channel. So our TV for the first time after its entry to our home played a single channel for about 1 hr. we all without any complaints watched the same kannada movie with complete interest.

That day Giriyamma was so happy to see the complete movie and she got up and told us it was the best thing she ever saw in our home…
Poor chaps Ramya and Ranju were very sad on their bad fate where as Giriyamma was rejoicing this moment…

Subbu, Part 2- Subbu’s Anger

Today morning as soon as I saw subbu near the Apartment gate, I ran towards him held his hand and said hi. But for my surprise though subbu said hi he dint flash his smile towards me dint know why but I couldn’t resist this change in him. So I asked him why was he angry as we crossed the road.

Subbu was so very angry that he dint speak to me till we crossed the road. I was really very sad because of his attitude. Then finally subbu broke his silence and told me that. He wanted to wear green shirt but his mom told him that he doesn’t look good in his green shirt and she wanted him to wear sky blue shirt, so he had to fight with her for green shirt and finally after being stubborn his mom gave him green shirt to wear it seems he was sad because his mom told him that he doesn’t look good.

This was the reason for my subbu to be angry. As he told this his regular auto came. I wished him bye and I told him that he actually is looking great in his green shirt. He was so happy he told me that he will say this to his mom and flashed a very good smile in his Skyblue shirt and left for the day…
Had I told him that he is wearing Skyblue shirt still he would be very sad, so I had to lie. Sometimes a fair lie is better than bitter truth

Angel of my life…

Ranju, my bestfriend from past 19yrs
I was 5 years old when I first met this girl, very pretty, soft, very fair. She was dressed up in pink cloths and placed calm in the cradle. I exactly don’t remember how I felt at that moment. But I remember that I was very jealous as she was the center of attraction. People in that hospital room just pushed me aside to hold her and caress her. There I stood staring at her and cursing god for sending this girl to my family.

Yes 28th of October 1988, we had this new family member. Initial days I always felt jealous of my little sister. She was the topic of discussion, her smile, her jet black eyes, her complexion, like this each and every one at home just discussed about her. Till that day my actions were praised this sudden change in everyone made me very angry about my little girl. After few months when she was able to walk a bit and to understand people around her, she started to be with me and laugh at my silly actions though I was still not comfortable, this smile of hers made me very happy so my efforts grew to make my little sister smile and laugh. This game made me grow very close to her.

Till this little incident happened I never realized that there would be so much bond and love in this sister relation. I was now in 1st standard and my sis was of 1 yr old. It was my midterm holidays and I was driven to my native as it was tough to maintain me and a little baby at home where both my parents were working. So I had been to native, It was 15days stay planned for me there, but with in a week my dad had called native and I was brought back to Bangalore. I dint realize why this sudden shipping happened. When I came back to Bangalore, my home I got to know my little sister was missing me badly and because of my absence she had got fever so Doc told my parents to get me back from native.

At that age of 6, I realized how much bonded we both were, we never shared a word just smiles, touches had bonded us so strongly that we missed each other. From that day
On wards there is no single day that I haven’t spoken to my sister. I share each and everything of my life with her. She is been an indivisible part of my life.
We both have 5 yrs difference but still we are like best friends and never have we fought like other sisters. She is much more beautiful and the prettiest girl now. And for me she is the only person who never let me down, she fought for me, she kissed and cared me when I really needed. Now I thank god for sending this angel to my life. Hence I understand Love grows deeper and stronger in any relationship with time and doesn’t fade.

Subbu, The Enthusiasm…

I consider life is the best teacher and it has lots to teach us, every moment, every incident and every day in our life is learning. Those who learn it they pass through it and those who refuse will not have any take away.

This little incident, which I am about to share with you all is about my new friend Subbu. Every morning at 7:55 I need to board my company cab and so I have to wait for that cab in front of an apartment stop where many employees wait for their respective company cabs. In this wait there was always a guy of age 30-35, short and stout who comes from the apartment, cross the road and take an auto. From his house his mom drops till the security gate and from there a security guard used to help him cross the road and take an auto. Yes u imagined right, this guy is blind in both of his eyes.

One day it so happened that, Security Guard had to open the gates for some senior person in the apartment. So he was panicking to wat he has to do either to help subbu or to salute the big tie. Observing his dilemma I asked him whether I can help this guy to cross the road. Thus from that day my friendship started with this guy.

Though blind, this guy speaks perfect English and dresses very well. The manners he had was just mesmerizing. I held his hand and said I will help him cross the road and with in the journey of 2 min he introduced himself and he asked about me and got into his regular auto and wished me bye and left for the day. This was our first day of friendship…

After that day everyday I go early to stop and meet subbu, help him cross road and we have made a point to talk for 5 min every day before he leaves for his work. Now its every day a routine to meet Subbu and smile at him and to hold his soft hand. As soon as I hold his hand he says ‘Hi Ramyaaaa’ with a huge smile flashing to someone else. But this one smile of Subbu makes my day worth while, he someday asks me how he looks today in his new shirt. And its my daily habbit now to say him that he looks good in pink shirt, blue shirt, red shirt and so.

Like this Subbu has the never ending enthusiasm in him. Seeing him I realized we should be proud of wat we have rather than cribbing for wat we don’t have. A Front office executive Subbu taught me the value of hopes and enthusiasm.

Me, my dentist and his grand daughter…

Saturday morning my first thing as I wake up early at 9 is to pick up phone and fix up an appointment with my dentist. The beautiful cavity around my jaw area had made my rich dentist even richer. Anyways this Saturday also I got an appointment and I was there in his clinic at 11:30 sharp. To say few words about my dentist it should really start with his age. Doc was about 65 and he had 38 years of experience with him. Smart at his age, perfectly maintained body and a yogic face he has. This Doc has 2 daughters one settled abroad and one another minting Doctor. This day my appointed started with Doc drilling down into my teeth and speaking softly about general topics just to keep me engaged and letting no time for me to realize that my tooth was getting drilled.

This clinic was attached with his home, so on a usual Saturday as doc worked on my teeth I could hear and lady speaking to her maid and sometimes over phone happily speaking, sometimes angry, I visualized and understood her to be Doc’s wife and that was correct. This Saturday, shortly after doc started to work on my teeth I could hear a little girl crying and shouting aloud and the lady trying to console her. My doc smiled at me and said it’s my grand daughter down from Singapore her parents left her here for schools. Thus she misses her parents and cries when she wakes up after a nap.

Saying this he continued to mix silver to fill in my cavity. But I could still hear those conversations from inside. Lady saying ‘ Beta if you cry like this we will send u back and ur parents will put u in Singapore school where friends are monsters and teachers beat u badly’ I thought after this the little girl would compromise but no she shouted even harshly may be she had imagined going to monster school. Like this consoling, making reasons to console her went on for another 15 min and finally Lady gave up saying do wat ever I wont listen to your cry after this conversation I could hear baby crying for another 10 min suddenly in sweet little voice baby said ‘ Naani, baby crying no’ she repeated these words again and again after this I could here lady saying ‘my baby, my little girl’ and some kissing sounds.

In all this I couldn’t stop imagining how beautiful the baby may be and how elegant the women may be. By this time my doc had finished with my teeth and after paying him I requested him to see this grand daughter. He took me in and for my astonishment the baby was very very cute than that I could imagine.

In this little incident I realized one thing we all try to over react and over act until we know somebody is there to care for us but the moment we realize no body cares we start picking up with life. This tendency of human is not stopped after childhood its carried to adulthood. With this thoughts I left the clinic smiling and with beautiful image of little girl with me :) .

Who will repay me my tears???-- Just a writing :)

I was born cried a lot don’t know why, may be because I dint want to come to this cruel world. There went my tears in vain but later realized this was for joy and at that point my tears too brought smile on faces of everyone around me…

I grew up to little girl played happily, danced all the way, smiled. Studied and also cried a lot but never felt like asking anyone to repay me my tears as I had got more than that I shed tears for…
I grew up to teenage girl, looking cute and smiling with lot more maturity and lot more intelligence, Studied and sported around shed tears in winning joy, loosing game, getting distinction and loosing friend. But again never asked anyone to repay my tears…

Loved a guy truly, deeply shed tears in caring him, loving him, joy of imaging getting married to him but ended in sacrificing for his lust and happiness. Shed tears a lot for my foolishness of being with him for no meaning, for no love. People dint know me turned back and asked to repay for being with him… Never in any above situation I asked anyone to repay me my tears but I now ask everyone who will repay my tears??? Dint it have any value???? Who will repay it,,,,

Birthday Celebrations...

I work for Honeywell, Its been almost three years for me working in IT industry in 2 most prestigious companies till now, One of the common events for team building is the Birthday celebrations done in the team.

As this activity needs 2 people to volunteer ever 2 quarter it was my turn this quarter, As my manager took out my name without consenting me I was bit worried and also angry but thought this gives a change for me every time a birthday is celebrated in my team.

I took up this activity started managing the accounts, collecting the birthdays, getting gift voucher and ordering cakes. This activity went on for one month, as i did this I felt so nice that I was sharing a very nice moment in some body's life by wishing them on their special day. The smile the Birthday person flashes when they see my mail wishing them brought enthusiasm in me.

One day it was birthday of senior most employee in our team as ours is a product and research oriented company we have Employee of age 60+ too, who carry awesome experience with them.
We youngster always stayed away from them but it was his birthday and I had to consent him for his cake selection and timing for his birthday celebration.

That was the day I saw this person smiling all the way and he was so enthusiastic in celebrating his birthday. This day I learnt for enthusiasm, for sharing happiness, for sharing love there is no age. Its only good will and love you need.
Friends I tell you, please wish every one around you and get that unconditional smile which will make your day the best.

My Visit to an Orphanage

Hi
I wish to share a moment here with you all which left me in tears...
It was my usual activity on a Sunday morning to visit an orphanage from 9-12:30, but due to some personal reasons I couldn't make it from past 6 months thought it left me sad, I couldn't make it in this period.
One Sunday suddenly I realised its very important for me to get back to those kids who were so close to me...
I woke up early, packed some sweets and bought some books for them and left to meet them.
As my vehicle stopped there, Raghu my friend a kid aged 6 was the first person to come running to me and hug me saying where were u all these days... for this one question I had no answer but to say sorry to him.
he took me into ashram and called all his friends I knew many of them there, though I had forgot their names they were just shouting as 'Ramyakkaaaaa' i felt so bad for staying away from them...
They all discussed different stories, about their school, their yearly once vacation all about them self, they danced the same dance which I had choreographed for them days back :).

Suddenly Basava another kid of 7 jumped near me and said 'Ramyakka do you know their is a new member in our group' This one thing always is a sad news to me as their is one more kid with no one to care for again... So with a fake smile told him to introduce that member to me...

with widest smile he took my hands and ran towards back of the Ashram, I was surprised as why would one admit some new entrant their. Then for my surprise, Basava opened a small kennel and told 'Ramyakka do you remember Lachi the dog, it died after giving birth to this puppy Lakshman, So I am taking care of this...'

Probably this one incident I can never forget in my life, Friends I always say this to everyone I meet, people like us don't know the value of love, care, touch and feelings as we get it abundantly so please see the value of it in the eyes of those who are deprived of it...